5 Reasons To Take The Love Language Quiz

5 Reasons To Take The Love Language Quiz

Four years ago, I saw “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman on a list of recommended books to read. Around the same time, I watched a news segment where a celebrity couple spoke about how learning their Love Language changed their perspective about expressing love. I headed to the website and read a short run-down of how learning love languages can help you connect with your significant other. I was intrigued.

After 15 minutes, I had taken the quiz and received a list of what my Love Languages were. I then convinced my boyfriend to take the quiz too. There was a small part of me that wondered if these could actually help in a relationship…

My Love Language Result:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Quality Time
  4. Receiving Gifts
  5. Physical Touch

My boyfriend’s Love Language Result:

  1. Physical Touch
  2. Words of Affirmation
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Quality Time
  5. Acts of Service

After mulling over each other’s results, I was pretty shocked. This explained why I felt elated whenever Luke would help me with errands and why I’d feel content just spending one-to-one time with him. This also explained why Luke would hug longer than I was used to and why he appreciated every gift I bought him.

Not only was it interesting, but it helped us understand each other on a deeper level. It facilitated conversations we would never have had if it wasn’t for the quiz!

Here are 5 reasons why this quiz could help you!

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Although we both felt loved and appreciated by each other, there was yet more to learn! Of course, just because a Love Language was on the bottom of the list, it didn’t mean we hated it – it was something that we could work on and improve.

I thought about others in my life and how they express love. We’re all so different! Depending on our personality, upbringing and close social interactions, we can express our love for each other in a myriad of ways.

Learning isn’t just for the classroom!

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I realised that Luke and I would occasionally show each other love in opposite ways: Luke would be quite close in proximity while I would shy away. I would want to spend time with him, while he would buy me gifts. Although we appreciated these gestures of love, we weren’t completely connected.

In other words, we were speaking different ‘love languages’.

We’d be told all the time that we balance each other out as a couple. Luke is a planner, while I am spontaneous. I am creativity-minded, while Luke is logical and good with numbers.

To an extent, opposites can attract but when you’re constantly on a different page to your partner, it can cause discord. We may feel frustrated, misunderstood, misheard and even lonely. Sound familiar?

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Luke and I discussed what we thought of our results and we agreed to do our best to express our affection in ways that would be meaningful. We also made it a priority to always communicate if we felt uncomfortable, hurt or misunderstood by the other person. We worked on empathising with the other and did our best to understand each other’s perspective.

In a small but sure way, this helped us to be aware of those in our inner and outer circle. We may come from different, extreme or similar walks in life, but we all show love in universal ways.

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I became more open to physical affection and challenged Luke to respect personal space. In the same way, Luke continued to help me with errands but also challenged me to become more independent.

This was a great exercise for us to trust each other more and lean in to the process of trial and error.

Challenge. Trust. Communicate.

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It may sound “wishy-washy”, but you only need to look at Harry Harlow’s study of infant monkeys. It shone a light on the importance of maternal contact and the need for comfort in order to survive. This can extend to connection between partners, friends and even co-workers. One of our basic needs is to be loved, according to Maslow.

It is important to know ourselves mentally, emotionally and physically. It doesn’t have to include every single layer of our lives, but it can be beneficial for us to know our strengths, weaknesses, and what goals drive us. This can inform how and why we relate to others in the world in the way that we do.

Once we are aware of what makes us ‘tick’, we can feel confident in:

  • Decision-making
  • Setting boundaries
  • Trying something new like traveling alone
  • Creating and maintaining healthy relationships

Knowing what makes us feel loved and cared for can set the foundation for deep and enriching relationships! The world would be a much better place if we had more informed love and care.

What are your Love Languages? Is there something you’d like to explore or improve in your relationships and how you relate to yourself?

*Disclaimer: Affiliate links are have been used in this post. If you enjoy my content and the products mentioned, feel free to use the link! I appreciate your support!*

Click here to take the quiz!

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

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Therapy Sessions | The Relationship in Therapy.

Therapy Sessions | The Relationship in Therapy.
*Trigger Warning: there may be distressing content.*

Let’s begin The Session.

In this particular session, I was expressing my concerns about a huge life-change that occurred. I told N* that part of me wanted to halt my study plans. I was overwhelmed and anxious about how the year would pan out. 

She said half-urgently that she had to stop me right there. I was curious. What did she think?

“When you’re sitting in that chair, in this room, I fight for you.”

I was shocked. After a few moments I concluded that this statement spoke to me in a way that nothing has spoken to me before. In all sense of the word, I felt completely supported. I felt heard. I felt cared for. It was like a weight I’d been carrying immediately halved. I am not carrying this burden alone.

This is what being understood feels like as a client. This is what sessions are aimed to do. This is why I am studying in this field.

My psychologist went on to say that no one has to stop their life because of someone else’s mistakes. Time is needed to cope with big life-changes but that doesn’t mean to also give up on life goals.

By the end of this session, I felt lighter. I could breathe without as much labour and I didn’t feel like I might crumble at any second. There are good days and bad days yes, but I wasn’t a ticking-time-bomb anymore.

What I learned

1. Shit happens.

From this session, I learned to find motivation during the difficult times. Shit happens. Sometimes, frequently, surprisingly and without fault of our own. Of course, I’ve always known this. Part of starting this blog is to share my personal experiences of “shit happening”. Reminders are always handy though!

2. There are good and bad times when living in community with others.

Living in community, big or small, we may find ourselves affected by another person’s actions – both positively and negatively. It is up to us to fight tooth-and-nail through the brick walls and get back to the light. To do our best, with what we have in those moments.

3. Speak up.

Like a fellow blogger @sickocean wrote about, speak up. Both in situations where you need to stand up for yourself but also in situations where you feel heavily burdened by life’s issues. Open up to people or a person you trust. Yes, we are all different beings with different life-stories and therefore, may not respond in the way another would ‘want’, but, expressing ourselves is still massively helpful and beneficial for our mental health.

Even if speaking to a professional isn’t in the cards right now, remember to FIGHT FOR YOU.

Even through the pain.

Even through the darkness.

Fight for you.

Live the life you deserve.

Make choices freely without guilt.

Put yourself first this time.

Welcome back to my regular readers and thank you for joining me if you are new! This blog is about mental-health wellness as well as lifestyle topics like fashion, food, decluttering and travel adventures.
You can stay connected for updates, quotes and general life-happenings on my Facebook pageInstagramEbay and Twitter!

Thank you for being here.
Let’s keep working towards mental-health awareness and wellbeing. x

Boundaries in Relationships

Boundaries in Relationships

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are the ‘space’ between ourselves and the other person. This can be emotional, mental or a physical space. It can also be explained as “the line where I end and someone else begins”, stated by clinical psychologist Ryan Howes. Another way to think of boundaries is imagining state borders throughout the country. We all have an emotional/mental/physical border that keeps us comfortable and safe. These borders indicate to people what is okay and what is not okay. Continue reading “Boundaries in Relationships”

How art has helped me: the teen years.

How art has helped me: the teen years.

*To make the post interactive, hyperlinks have been added. Videos and further information are there for maximum learning. Please note some videos may be triggering, so proceed with caution.*

High school was a place of discovery and I enjoyed the new-found independence. However, there was a power struggle between me and my parents. I admit, I was not the easiest daughter to deal with. At all. Restrictions and deadlines simply encouraged me to rebel, further and further. The more restrictions that came, the more resentment I harboured. I couldn’t understand why I felt the way I felt. I couldn’t figure out why I was losing motivation. Some days I was snappy and other days I thought I might burst from feeling loved. During these few years, I had confided in a teacher that I had lost motivation to do anything (including the psychology assignment due that day). She told me to speak to a counsellor to try and help me get back on track. I’d never seen a counsellor before, and my view of counsellors were people who would only tell my parents whatever I would say. I went once, feeling too vulnerable to have a proper conversation. I didn’t return. Continue reading “How art has helped me: the teen years.”